Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I Call Him My Son

I prayed for him each night before I knew there was a him to pray for.   I prayed he'd grow healthy and strong inside the womb.   I cried when they said, "It's a Boy!"  I fell in love before I saw his face and then I took a free fall when I held him in my arms for the first time.   I've wiped away his tears, rocked him as he's cried, sang to him as he falls asleep and kissed him goodnight.   I've been up with him all night and chased him all day long.   When he smiled for the first time I was the one standing over him, when he rolled over for the first time I was the one with the camera and when he crawled for the first time I was the one cheering as though it was a football championship.   My heart breaks each time he's sad, sick or uncomfortable, my soul smiles every moment that I look at him, think about him or hold him.  I've called him my son since the day he was born.   And after 281 days they now call me his mom. What an honor, what a blessing and what a day!

Today we had Ryker's finalization at the Canyon County Courthouse.  We were surrounded by our parents, brother, sister, and brother-in-law.   There hasn't been a time during the last 9 months that I haven't thought of Ryker as my son, but now I can officially say that I am his legal parent and he has the birth certificate to prove it :)  It was such a special moment in the court room seeing as our judge is a long time family friend and made it extra special for us.   At one point she said she didn't feel she should even ask any question or else she might start crying.   We each had a moment to share what Ryker means to us and how it has been as a family the past 9 months. Tyler went first and explained our excitement we felt as we waited by the phone to hear of his delivery and then the love that grew and grew from the moment we laid eyes on him.   My favorite words I heard my husband say were, "I would do anything for him."   I know that's true and he is such an incredible father.   I have a feeling the words he spoke will mean so much to Ryker someday.   Well, then it was my turn and as usual I was a blubbering mess. About all I could get out was how much we love him and how special he is to us.   I can hardly even think about him without my eyes welling up and my heart bursting with love!  What a blessed mother I am.   I could have never dreamed of the love that would fill my soul once you become a parent.

We are off to celebrate with family and friends this evening and I hope one day Ryker can look back and the photo's and memories shared of this day and realize how deeply he is loved by so many!