Saturday, January 19, 2013

"He leads me beside the Still Waters"

I just feel led to sit down and write.  Perhaps this blog is more between myself and God than anything else. My heart is overflowing with thankfulness and gratitude at this time in my life, yet because of the blessings there comes work.  I think sometimes the stress and angst are what appear on my face.

God has been so good to us this year and if my actions and my words do not display how blessed I feel then I pray that God will change my heart and my mind to be more focused on all the joy in my life.  Now, when I say "good" I know many people perceive that to mean; bills are paid, the money tree is flowing, sleep is at an all time high, kids are like walking Disney characters- happy all the time, work is going perfectly, marriage is blissful.....uuuuurch! REAL WORLD! Money is tight, more things get broken before they can get fixed, going to bed at 2am is not ideal with toddlers in the house, the kids are learning how to fight at a rapid pace, I feel more unorganized and forgetful as the day goes on, etc. etc.  This is everyone's story though, right?  We all just have life that happens and even when you subtract a couple of those scenarios we always tend to get focused on the remaining.

But, life is so good and God has been so faithful.  I am getting the opportunity of a lifetime to watch people walk through life and experience pure joy and happiness from Still Water Hollow.  I promise you, it's nothing we are doing.  There are more things that go wrong behind the scenes than most would care to know, which I love because it gives me even more reason to give the glory to God when it all falls into place just perfectly.  I can not tell you how many times I have the priveledge of hearing people acknowledge His presence here when they say, "There is just something about this place." This has become a place for people in our community to celebrate, but also to recover.  While I get to be a part of the most wonderful day is most people's lives, I also have seen a lot of hurt and a lot of healing that has to take place.

Who knows what small roll myself, Tyler, our family, or just the presence people feel while they are here will play in the big scheme of things.  But that is the beauty of it all....there is a scheme and I can fully trust and put faith that my Lord and Savior is the one with ultimate power.  Is life perfect? No.  Is God? Yes. Is life always good? No. Is my God?  Oh, yes! This year has been such a testament to the fact that not matter how we try to mess things up, God can always turn it into something good, something right, something absolutely perfect.

I grew up a little soap box preacher girl.  I shouted out what I believed from the rooftops, but as I have gotten older I have learned how powerful my actions can be, far beyond my words.  Don't get me wrong, I believe there are times to speak out using your voice.  But my heart tells me that what I do with my life and how I live my life and how I interact will speak volumes compared to anything I could write or say.  So, here I am asking for you to hold me accountable.  I am embarrassed to think how I have let stress and worry take over how I may be acting and living on a day to day basis.  Because the truth is I honestly and whole heartedly believe that God has this ALL under control.  ALL of it, even the messy stuff, even the difficult to understand and grasp stuff.  So even if my world, as I know it, comes tumbling down there is no reason that my faith should be shaken.

My heart and soul is filled with so much joy right now I feel like I have had 10 cups of coffee (at I've only had 3!) Whew! Time for a dance party...