Well, I've been away (swine flu),

but I'm back and I'm ready to express myself (Madonna),

and I think I should start by saying that I hate cleaning (makes me feel red

- I like gray).

This brings me to kids - what are they good for (that was screamed). Don't get me wrong, I love my kids (brats),

but I'm starting to think we should live like the Clampetts (I've never actually seen that show or fully understand the reference, but I feel like I'm on to something by using the metaphor).

Pack all the nice stuff up and keep it for later - like when all these grubby handed hoodlums aren't living in my house!!!

I'll buy thrift store couches and garage sale dishes (they can have at'it)

and later (after saving all my pennies),

I'll buy all the nice stuff I ever wanted and nobody, I mean nobody, will ruin it (cause I'll have shipped them off to military school - no I won't feel bad about it)!