Thirsty for More

I sit here eyes filled with tears.  Not sure if it's the pregnancy hormones, or the fact that I've always had a tender heart.  Dad and I always cried while watching Touched By An Angel and when my mom starts to tear up I quickly tell her to stop before I begin welling up.   Right now though my eyes are filled with tears because I just read a blog by a pastor who has blessed me in more ways than he'll ever know.  He brought life to God's word, he challenged me to challenge my relationship with God- to grow closer and deeper than I've ever dared to go before.   He restored a hurt in me that had been broken when I was young and never fully healed....just shoved under the rug.   As I read his blog I am again encouraged because for several weeks I've been missing the authentic and real way he makes me feel as though God is sitting in the room with me and speaking right to me.

His entry is about lying down in green pastures.   Oh is that something I can relate to.   I get so caught up in the worries and even dreams that will only last me a blink of an eye compared to eternity.   Why don't I focus more of my energy on the things that I will carry with me beyond this time on earth?   Lately, I don't spend a lot of time alone just to think, pray and read.   This entry he wrote just really made me stop in my tracks.   I feel like I've got God standing next to me saying, "stop....just stop".   In my Bible study this evening Beth Moore talked about Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God." I can not really know him if I'm running around and never taking a moment to be still.

What a blessing this entry from Tim has been to me.   I miss his teaching and look forward to when I'll be able to listen to him again soon.   After you experience a teacher like Tim you realize how the most important thing in church is the message.   I really have to admit I've focused more on the paint color, music, coffee creamer, and how much the pastor can make me laugh in the past.  Now I am thirsty for the meat.   I want to hear the good stuff....the stuff that leaves me more and more satisfied in Christ each week.

I wish that the desires of our hearts would be to simply learn and grow in God's word.   I wish we did not get so focused on making Christianity "cool", "hip", "relevant".   It just needs to be real.   The fact is a church won't save you, the sweet coffee shop (although I love them just as much as anyone else) in the corner won't bring His word to life, the lighting, the music, or even the people that fill up the pews (more like soft cushiony chairs now) won't fill you with joy, hope, grace, love and peace.   What will though is the power God can bring through those who just ask him to be used.   The kind of worship that brings the man in the Harley jacket to his knees, the message that leaves you with a deeper understanding of God and makes you want to run home and dive into His word, or as I've heard a beautiful woman put, a pastor who teaches the word in such a way that brings color to the black and white image you've had of Jesus for so long.   The real and powerful presence of God in a space where He is welcome and His opinion is the only one that matters.   That is what will draw us in.   That is what leaves my heart overflowing with His spirit.  

Radio Rescue Festival

Hey everyone I'm a part of Radio Rescue Festival, which is a concert that is going to be held out at Woodriver Cellars on July 16th from 4-8pm.  Here's the skinny....

Three local bands - Interstate, Myself and the Jake VP Band, and Grand Falconer - present Radio Rescue Festival - a full afternoon of music, food and a raffle to help children half a world away.  

This event supports the work of Invisible Children, which utilizes the talents of artists to bring awareness and action to end the use of child soldiers in the longest running war in Africa.  The war in northern Uganda has been called the most neglected humanitarian emergency in the world today. For the past 23 years, the LRA and the Government of Uganda have been waging a war that has left nearly two million innocent civilians caught in the middle. Hundreds of thousands of children have been forced to serve in the LRA as soldiers.

Money raised at the Radio Rescue Festival will help Invisible Children with its comprehensive work to help bring peace to east Africa and to give war affected children a chance to return home and begin a more normal life.

Tickets are just $5.00 and can be purchased at the door .  A raffle will also support the effort, and of course, all additional donations will go directly to Invisible Children.  

We are looking for donations for the raffle, so if this is something you think you or your company would be willing to donate to anything is helpful.   There's also lots of work to be done and some fun ways you could help out the day of, so if you'd like to volunteer please let me know.    And last but not least we'd love to have you join us and help make this concert full of energy and excitement about helping this great cause!  We are really hoping to get a great turn out for this because it should be a really great afternoon for families! Please let me know if you can help in any way briegray@gmail.com

Thanks so much! 

Bad Timing

I'm desperately wishing my child would stop screaming and go to sleep, so that I can too.   It's amazing how kids seem to pick the most inconvenient night to decide to stay up screaming.   He didn't choose the countless nights when I had nothing to do in the morning.   Oh no he chose the night before our yard sale, the night before I should be getting up around 5am to get everything ready (including him).   I'm on the other end of the house covering my ears from time to time to keep sane.   I've tried it all, rocking, bottle, shushing, music, walking, etc.   I thought maybe he just needed to let out some steam, but it's been over an hour now.

He really is such a good baby, but when he feels a little rebellious it's never at a good time :)  Here's to motherhood!

Our Sweet Baby.....#2 :)

Well, I thought I was going in for a blood test today, but to our delight it was an ultrasound!  We got to see our little one all curled up in Mommy's tummy.   Our baby loves sleeping on his/her tummy and so we didn't get a good look at their face, but nevertheless we have some precious photo's.

I laid there in awe as I looked at this sweet little baby that we are eager to meet come December.  Then I looked to my side at the most incredible husband and father holding my precious little boy.  Wow, my eyes are filling up with tears just thinking about the blessings God has given me....blessings I never even asked for.  He is so faithful and shows His love in more ways than I can count! What a life He has given me, one I do not deserve and one I could never earn, just a life full of grace.

Blessed Birthday

Well my husband did such a great job of making my birthday special this year.  He got together some of my close friends to surprise me at Cool Hand Luke's.   I had no idea what was in store, other than the fact we were going out to dinner without our little man.   This was a grown up date :)  He did a great job of keeping everything sealed and I literally didn't realize the wonderful surprise until we turned the corner and I saw all my friends sweet faces!  We had such a great night of laughs, amazing food and fun stories.  Then  Tyler surprised me with a wonderful night at a hotel.  This was our first night away from Ryker and although I was excited to get a good night sleep, I missed him like crazy!  The good night sleep will have to wait though because of allergies I was up every hour bowing my nose!  All in all I could not have asked for a more special day.   I am overwhelmed with all the love my friends and family have shown me and am so thankful for the incredible people in my life!

Surprises in the Gray Home

Well, the last couple months have been exciting and quite a whirlwind, to say the least.   Ryker is growing like crazy.  He is smiling and babbling all the time.  When he sees new people he takes time to study them, but it's not long before he's smiling and giggling for them!  

He is absolutely the joy of our lives!  His personality is showing more and more each day.  No matter where we go or what we do he always goes with the flow, but he wants to be moving all the time.  He'll usually start fussing the moment we try to sit down with him, so I have a feeling we're going to have our hands full once he starts crawling and walking.  We're trying to get everything finished up for finalization of our adoption (this is when he'll receive his birth certificate with our names and his name on there, as well as we officially become his parents - not just his legal guardians).  This day could not come sooner!  We are very anxious to have everything official, although in our eyes he was our son long before he was even conceived.   It's been so apparent throughout this that God had such a special plan for our family long before we could even dream of it.  What a perfect blessing God's given us in Ryker.

Our big surprise:
We're Pregnant!
That's right, we learned some very unexpected news recently.   About three weeks ago I was not feeling well and after running through every option in my brain and trying everything to feel better, I decided to take a pregnancy test and then I made Tyler go buy two more just to be sure- ya know the ones that clearly define "pregnant" or "not pregnant"instead of those silly lines that are hard to interpret!  Needless to say we were in shock.  While I was having a bit of a "freak out" moment my husband's words were, "Well, here we go!"  That's why I love him so much.  He takes everything in stride and is able to completely let go and allow God to take control.   Since this wasn't planned we had no idea how far along I was.  I went to the doctor and learned I was already 9 weeks.  Today, I am 12 weeks 4 days.  Our baby's due date.....December 18...2 days before Ryker's birthday.  Boy, does God have a sense of humor.   We certainly never would have planned on having our kids barely a year a part, but I know he's got something amazing in store for us.  We don't have any ultrasound pictures yet because of how everything has worked out.   I wish I did though, but baby is healthy and that's all that matters.
I will be honest, I had some difficulty with this news at first.   Here we are just beginning to enjoy our son and I'm loving every minute with him and I want to focus all my attention on him.   I felt bad at first because I didn't want anything to be taken away from him and I was worried I wouldn't be able to fully enjoy every single stage.  I also started worrying about the reality of how difficult it will be to have to kids so young.   I had a moment in the grocery store where I looked at Ryker in his car seat, sitting on top of the shopping cart, then I looked at Tyler and said, "Where will the next one sit?  Ryker won't be old enough to walk and the other one won't be old enough to sit up on their own in a shopping cart!"  Thankfully, my fears are fading and I'm getting more excited about how fun it will be for our kids to be so close and be able to play together.   I know Ryker is going to be such a good big brother.  This will be an adventure, but I count my blessings and they are far more than I deserve.

Big Prayers Take Big Faith

Tyler and I were engaged on January 5th 2008 at what I consider to be one of the most beautiful pieces of land in this area...That's when the dream began...

We started dreaming about buying this gorgeous land that has a picture perfect white steeple church, large pond, and plenty of space to make so many dreams come true.  We started with the obvious, a wedding venue!  Thoughts of where the ceremonies could take place, how I could help decorate and run sound for the events.   Then our dreams got bigger.   There are three little houses (almost like little shacks you would have seen in the old west) that we dreamed could be used as an oasis.   Maybe there could be women's retreats that would be held out there, or children's camps.   Then I started thinking how we could make this a place for families to enjoy an evening out; barn dances, chili feeds, all-day music festivals, Easter egg hunts, pumpkin carvings, on and on and on....
Here's where my dream has become a BIG prayer and a BIG leap of faith.   I've been praying incessantly that God would use me in a big way.   I know we probably won't end up in Africa building wells or, like our cousins, in Peru doing His work.   BUT that doesn't mean I don't want to be faithfully serving Him and I believe there are so many people here who are desperately in need of the truth.   So, what if this could be our ministry?  What if this could be a place of peace, a place to learn more about Him, a place families could come and could actually afford to have fun with their children and know they are safe?   What if we dedicated Sunday to a day full of great food, great music and have a wonderful teacher come and share with whomever shows up the good news?  What if we had family events where we could fellowship with one another and begin creating a great environment for our children to grow up in?  What if we had weekend retreats for those who are thirsting to know more about Christ and dig deeper in their relationship with Him?   What if this is our ministry?  God has made us very aware that we can not do this on our own, not only financially, but the work we would be putting into running this place would need to come from a supernatural strength.   I LOVE that though!  Because now I know that there is no way this could happen unless it comes from Him.  So, if you're reading this and feel compelled to pray for us we would so appreciate it.   We are seeking His will above our own and this has definitely been a dream of ours for years, so we don't want to let that effect what we feel He is leading us to do.  We just simply want to pray that if He desires to use this gorgeous piece of land for His glory then we would be honored to play a role in that.   And if he wants us to buy this piece of land then we're going to need that money tree to start growing in our backyard soon :)