Blessings of Adoption

There is something that happens when a mother first feels her baby kick.  There's an excitement and the love grows deeper and more profound with every movement the baby makes.  What about those who are adopting?  Is it possible to love even before first site?  Is it possible to feel a connection? 

There's a hush hushness (I think I just made up that word) about talking with people who are adopting about their experience and therefore I don't think many people know what the journey is really like.   I get the questions, "Have you heard anything", or "How are you doing".   But what about how are you feeling, WHAT are you feeling, what is God doing in all of this.  I know my experience is much different than anyone else.  Just as mothers who carry their babies have different experiences.  But here's how I'm feeling and how God is working.

When we began the process I thought that we would finish our paper work, be on the waiting list, hear about a baby....be excited, get things ready for our new little one.....happy/a little scared, go to the hospital, hold our baby, then fall in love.  Was I wrong!  The paperwork part was the hardest for me.  I struggled with feeling like I had this huge responsibility to answer all the questions just right, so that it would all match up with the perfect baby God had chosen for us.  I struggled with that because God wasn't exactly reading out loud what he wanted me to express on paper.  My problem was I felt that I was somehow in control. That if I said the wrong thing it would mess up God's whole plan.   Finally, He got through to me that if I'm truly seeking His will for my life and His will for our baby's life, even my silly words on a piece of paper couldn't mess that up.  I was so relieved when the paperwork was finished though because then I felt I could completely sit back and let God work.   No more boxes to be checked wrong, or questions to be answered wrong. 

He wasn't finished working in me though.  I have been falling deeper and deeper in love with our baby.  And Tyler and I have talked about how strange it is that we have no idea if we're having a boy or a girl, or if they will be born in Washington or Illinois.  All we know is that there's is a baby that God has made perfectly for our family and we have been shaped into the parents that God had planned for him or her.  This love is kind of putting a wrench in my patience though.  With every day I feel I am loving our baby more, but I also am feeling more protective.  Wishing I could be there to protect them, wishing I could feel them kick, or make sure their warm.  I also just simply can not wait to meet our little one!  But we're working on that.   I ultimately want nothing more, nor less that what God has planned, so I know that patience is the area of my life He is zeroing in on. 

Adoption for us is our first choice.  We feel blessed God gave us this desire and we are amazed at what He is doing through this journey.  For anyone who has ever thought of adoption as second choice or second best, it is not.   Perhaps you were adopted and deep down feel your parents went with plan B by having you.  I'm here to say Adoption is God's plan, it's the most amazing choice-no seconds involved.  Family is created out of love, security, God's will and faith; not just blood.  Adoption isn't to "save" a child.  They're probably more likely to save you :)